“Diary Entry: 8/19/24 – Courage“

Life will happen. I have been waiting for a downswing, a period during which I can reflect on my world. I have integrated all elements of my life and truly planned everything out to the hour. I have it in my head that this is the best way to run my life with optimum ambitions. But life doesn’t hear my pleas. Life will do what it do. 

My previous courage was sick. She needed to go to the vet today. When they ask me her again, I force a bit. I thought about how I first got her. It was my junior year of college, and my sister called me about a dog she saw behind a truck at the grocery store. She raved about how cute she was, the smallest in the pack. I already wanted a dog, so I was sold at “There this dog”. But when I met her, she was so small and scared. I didn’t know how hard a puppy was until I had her, but she was always a smart girl; after the first year, she mellowed out. It was night and day with her intensity. She still got her puppy Zoom-me occasionally, which helped me paint a false sense of time.

She is getting up there in dog years. I am watching her slow down. There is so much I want to do for her. Fitting everything I want to do in a limited time is getting hard, but when it comes to courage, I have to figure it out. I understand life may never give me the downswing, but my time and those I care for are even more limited.