“Diary Entry: 8/18/24 – Golden Prison“

I am immune to the Golden Prison. For those who don’t know what the Golden Prison is, in terms of people-pleasing, it is when a person changes themselves to please the person they are trying to get along with. For example, person A finds out person B likes Harry Potter and, therefore, claims to enjoy it too in an attempt to please person B.

But I was blessed with a terrible poker face. If I lied and said I liked anything I didn’t, my face would expose me by souring against my will. Blending into society is vital to human survival, and if I were a part of the first bash of humans, I wouldn’t have made it out of adolescence.

As a kid, this was always an issue. I never had a lot of friends, but it took me too long to realize that I always had good friends. My inability to adapt and blend with anyone has acted like a filter, leaving me with people who were meant for me to different degrees. I got a sense of who would be my friends within seconds of meeting them. My 15-year friend group was formed from debating over vampires and werewolves.

I spent this weekend with said friend group and felt nothing but bliss and gratitude. My broken poker face brought me a group of people who see me as I am and support me in my growth. This type of friend group requires self-honesty. Changing for others will only lead to a self-inflicted prison sentence.