“Diary Entry: 8/23/24 – Devastating Concoction“

I heard difficult news today about a situation I have followed for a while. I don’t know how to talk about it since this news is neither my own nor directly affects me. I am, at best, a bystander with empathy for the person at the center, who we will refer to as Billy going forward. But I saw it coming.

This situation contains a mixture of assimilating issues, toxic masculinity, loneliness, and maybe a splash of undiagnosed neurodivergence. This devastating concoction only intensifies in a capitalist society. I won’t say much about the events that led to the conclusion, but I want to focus on why it matters.

I heard this news alongside a good friend, who will forever be known as Mat. Mat has a strong community mindset and moves authentically. He was the one who rang the alarm, alerting us about Billy’s mental state, and took a more active approach to seeking help for Billy. In his attempt to help him, we discovered all the ingredients I listed about the situation.

Everyone I mention is black, with some form of immigrant background. This fact alone formed a friend group, where we try to look out for each other. Mat and I had an in-depth conversation about all the factors in this situation and how they affect our other identities.

I am not a black man; I have black men in my life, and I am affected by black men as a black woman, but I will never experience life as a black man. I can relate to Billy up to a point, for many of his issues are a direct source of my life challenges.

**TO BE CONTINUES**