“Diary Entry: 8/25/24 – assimilating (part 1)“

I still need to finish my thoughts on the 8/23 Dairy Entry. I had a lot on my mind but didn’t give myself time to simmer. I stand by everything I wrote, but I should have broken it down into different sections. Each section focuses on the various issues on which the situation was built.

Today, let’s talk about assimilating. I sometimes forget that I am an immigrant. My family immigrated to America when I was very young. Because I was so young when I came to America, I assimilated well into the culture, with the occasional hiccups deciphering between ethical and national cultures. Still, I know how hard assimilating can be.

Let me emphasize that everything I report about Billy is based on my perception; nothing is proven factual. That said, Billy clearly has a more challenging time assimilating. I don’t know when he immigrated, but I can tell it wasn’t in his adolescence. I don’t think that was the key reason why he had difficulty assimilating. I believe it was his unwillingness to reevaluate himself in different cultural standards.

It is essential to understand how the culture you live in views you and your actions. It isn’t always necessary to change to fit society. Still, you need to understand the social norms, and understanding how those norms are formed could help you adapt to your surroundings. Though America has a patriarchal society, when compared to Billy and I’s home country, it could be seen as a sanctuary for women. I don’t always focus on this talking point about the patriarchy, but it has negatively affected men.

The patriarchal mindset withholds pride and self-excellence from men until they achieve the aloof status of dominance. Billy always seemed so stressed out to me. The few times I interacted with him, I could tell he felt behind in life. Billy never said those words to me, but he would talk about acting like he desperately needed money. He thought the money would give him a woman, and the more he had, the more access he had to a higher quality of women. Billy’s Dream Girl would follow a patriarchal mindset, too. He once slipped up and said it was an honor for his girl to cook for him, but he was led to backtrack that statement from the other men.

Both American and Nigerian cultures push for coupling and caste judgment on a person based on their partner. Still, Nigerian society uses women as a status indicator. How good your girl looks and how much she sacrifices for you is the ultimate displacement of wealth. so moving with a patriarchal mindset, not having a woman you can call your girl attacks the ego. There are many ways to show wealth in America; you don’t have to showcase them. Having a partner is optional, unlike in Nigeria, but his mindset couldn’t adapt, so his pride and self-worth took a continuous hit.